Reasons Why God Never Recieved Tenure at the University

Posted on Rec.Humor By: Grand Schampel (grant@maroon.tc.umn.edu)

• He had only one major publication.
• It was in obscure languages.
• It had no references.
• It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
• Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
• It may be true that he created the universe, but what has he done since then?
• His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
• The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
• He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
• When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
• When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
• He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
• Some say he had his son teach the class.
• He expelled his first two students for learning too much.
• Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
• His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a remote mountaintop.